Oh Eagle-Eyed Reader, you are quite correct to notice that I have stayed away from my blog for the weekend, despite my vow to record my progress every day.
I have, in fact, stayed away from my OFFICE for the entire weekend (save for a moment of extreme busyness on Saturday morning when I realised I’d forgotten to do something important on Friday night. Ahem).
This was a deliberate strategy following on from my realisations of the back-end of last week. I decided that what I needed and deserved was to spend some quality time reconnecting with the real me and doing the things that I love doing, as that would fortify me to pick up the reigns again today.
So on Saturday, instead of speeding off to London to spend the day in a workshop designed to teach me how to grow a hugely successful business, I chose instead to go to my beautiful god-daughter’s 3rd birthday party and spend some much-needed time with a bunch of very dear friends I haven’t seen in far too long.
And on Sunday, I cooked a proper Sunday roast and baked a pie ( I love cooking an I haven’t been spending nearly enough time doing it of late) before spending the afternoon watching the dress rehearsal for My Lovely Husband’s play which opens tomorrow night, and then spending some time catching up with my favourite telly and talking to the Universe before bed.
I also had a long chat with the Universe this morning because I’m determined to get to the bottom of this need to be right and to be in control. It’s much less evident than it used to be and in fact I think the person it mostly impacts on these days is me (although MLH might have something to say on that subject…if I let him…)
I have allowed my need to “get it right” to cloud my focus on exactly what it is I want to be getting right – and that is, of course, the work that I do with my clients. The most important thing in all of this is the quality of service that I provide. It’s not how I provide it, or when (assuming, of course, I’m doing it as and when I agreed I would with each client). It’s not about how much I charge or what name I give to what I do.
It is, purely and simply, about what difference what I do makes to the lives of the people who choose to come to me. That is what I will be focussing on from now on – making sure I’m in the best possible shape to work with my clients.
Other people have the skills necessary to keep me from being, as someone described me recently, “the best kept secret out there” and I’ve already taken steps to make that happen – now it’s my turn to get out of their way, as well as my own, and let them get on with their jobs. They wouldn’t have agreed to work with me if they didn’t believe in me and know they could help me, and I wouldn’t have asked for their help if I didn’t know that.
This week and next I’ll be working with 2 very wise people who will be helping me to explore my need to get things right, and make it less of a burden. We’ll also be looking at the fear I have around success. I suspect the 2 things are linked and I’ll be very interested to know how differently I’ll feel when I come out the other side.
I’ll also be concentrating on doing the stuff that only I can do and making sure my helpers have what they need to do their stuff. And I’ll be starting on my Christmas Baking Spree. I will finish the Creating the Impossible lessons, but as I said before, with a different focus now.
Finally, a word about this blog and its contents. I’ve had almost equal numbers of comments from people who think that talking about what I’m doing and how I’m feeling is brave and/or inspirational, and from people who think it’s foolhardy to show my faults and weaknesses in this way.
All I can say is this.
One of my core values is authenticity. That is, after all, what my work is all about – helping my clients to become authentically themselves and proud to stand up and be counted. How can I do that, if I’m not doing that very thing myself?
How can I expect to be taken seriously if I don’t role-model the behaviours I’m talking about?
I meet people from time to time who expect me to be completely sorted, with absolutely no demons or failings or worries, because I’m a coach but that’s not how it works.
First and foremost I’m a human being, with all that that implies. I’m not sorted, but I AM working on it and that gives me a great strength as a coach in that, as you’ll have seen if you’ve been reading here for the past few weeks, I know about the shit we all go through. I’m going through it too.
But on my side I have tools at my fingertips that lots of other people don’t have, so (most of the time) I can at least understand what’s going on for me and go some way to sorting myself out. And when I can’t, I know there are other people out there with the right skills to help me, and I can learn from them at the same time.
Just so long as I remember to ask for help. I’m working on it, I really am 🙂
People like me exist to help you if you DON’T have those tools at your fingertips but we can only help our clients if our clients feel able to trust us and to believe that we understand them.
And I can’t think of a better way to help people to trust me and decide whether or not I’m the coach for them than to be totally honest with you about who and how I am. So I shall keep on keeping on, although I might well also keep on taking the weekends off from now on…
Thanks for reading
With Love and Fairy Dust