Will the Real Me please stand up…

I watched a fascinating documentary called “Don’t Call Me Stupid” recently. It featured a British TV Soap star, Kara Tointon. She was diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of 7 and the documentary followed her as an adult wanting to know more about the condition and see what help is available for her and others with the same condition.

By the end of the programme, Kara said she felt like she’d discovered her real self – imagine how my ears pricked up! She said that lots of the things she thought defined her as a person (eg being very untidy and disorganised) were actually symptoms of her dyslexia and now that she knew that, and was getting help to deal with them, a whole new understanding of who she was underneath all that was emerging.

And that led me on to thinking about how we define ourselves in terms of the things we DO rather than who we ARE. And more than that, how many of us define ourselves by what OTHER PEOPLE tell us we are, regardless of how biased their opinions might be.

Where has your idea of who you are come from?

Do you find yourself taking responsibility for everyone and everything because at some point in your childhood someone said “You’re the eldest, you have to look after the others”?

Did you get teased about some aspect of your appearance when you were at school, and so now think of yourself as unattractive?

Do you define who you are in terms of what job you do? How would you be different if you were to define yourself in terms of the things you enjoy doing in your spare time?

What’s to stop you from deciding to define yourself in a completely new way, right now?

It’s up to you to decide who the real you is – so who is it?

And what needs to happen  for you to show the real you to the rest of the world?

If you’d like to talk to me about how I can help you to do that then please get in touch. You can:

  • call me on +44 (0)7742 057 504
  • skype me at cathy.dean4
  • email me at cathy@colourinyourthinking.co.uk

2 responses to “Will the Real Me please stand up…

  1. One of the books that I am reading this week is Leil Lowndes’ ‘How To Talk To Anyone’. It is her description of ninety-two conversational pointers whereby you can improve your first and subsequent conversations and professional relationships with clients. Lowndes is described as a ‘communications expert’ and travels the world giving seminars on the subject.

    One of her points is that, rather than asking a person; ‘What do you do?’ and being fazed when you don’t know anything about their occupation in order to pursue the conversation, instead ask; ‘How do you spend most of your time?’. That way, people have a choice of talking about their job or their pastimes.

    It is a fascinating book with lots of useful advice, although it appears to be written with North American readers in mind, so I have to skim over a lot of cultural references that don’t fit. It is well worth looking at, even I think for those well skilled in the art of conversation.

    • Thanks for the recommendation Stephen. I know someone who deliberately describes himself as something different every time he meets someone new – he says that way, he never gets bored with talking about himself!

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