I’ve been pondering the differences between self-confidence, self-respect and self-esteem recently as I’ve been creating workshops and online packages on these topics.
It’s no wonder there’s so much confusion about the difference between them, some people see self-esteem and self-respect as synonyms while others think they’re poles apart!
The definitions I like best and that I’ve chosen to go with for my work come from Dr Elias H. Porter who created the Strengths Deployments Inventory and the associated Relationship Awareness Theory.
Dr Porter’s theory states that “everyone wants to feel worthwhile about themselves as human beings” and that this comes from having self-respect and self-esteem, which he defines as follows:
- Self Respect is being valued by yourself for the things you wish to be valued for
- Self Esteem is being valued by others for the things you wish to be valued for
Self Respect and Self Esteem lead to Self Worth – which is, to my mind, another way of describing Self-Confidence.
So – if you feel lacking in Self-Confidence it might be worth asking yourself the following questions:
- Do I know what I want to be valued for?
- Do I actually value myself for those things?
- Do others value me for those things?
If the answer to any of those questions is “No” then why not email me at email@example.com and we can have a chat about how I can help you.